Holiday Decorating

Back in the McGruff years of my youth, there were some songs my mother taught me in her efforts to mnemonically program me with safety procedures. 

One of them went like this:

♪ ♫ If you fall off your bike ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ East of 166th ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ Go to Father Lovett's house ♪ ♫
♪ ♫ Cuz he baptized you ♪ ♫
[clap clap]
♪ ♫ He baptized you ♪ ♫
[clap clap]

As far as I'm concerned, that block is hallowed ground.

This turkey thinks otherwise.

This reminds me of that tasteless Halloween display, off 166th, from back in 2010.

Komo News Report

I only call it tasteless because of the neighborhood consensus, but I didn't really have a problem with it.

Sure it was in bad taste, but it was creative.

I also don't have a problem with someone pissing on Christmas, but when you live 2 houses down from the St Jude's rectory, come the fuck on.

Don't make Father Rogerson drive by that shit.

And don't be acting like google doesn't fucking exist.

-Neighbor out.

Adopt A Goat

This wether is named Rowdy and he is ready to be adopted.

Stop by and visit him at Farrel Mcwhirter Park.

While you're their, try not to look directly at Bitsy's vagina.
It's all red, pouted and gross.

Update

I can't seem to get this image of Bitsy's vagina out of my head.  I had to draw it because I don't know how to act upon these feelings.

-Neighbor out.

Update

Area gem submitted this solution to our problem.  

Pig panties to cover those porky, pink lips.

Happy Halloween

Please take only one.

-Neighbor out.

UPDATE

My aggression has infected the hearts of your children.



-Raisin Faggot out.  

Off the Trail

I get a yellow card for laughing hysterically at a small child when instead I should have said, "Hey Kid, stop struggling, look at the ground, and your head will slide right out of that clown themed, photo stand-in."

Honestly, though, seeing a wooden clown with the face of a crying child made my Derby Days Weekend.  

His dad freed him before I could take a picture.  

The City of Redmond gets two yellow cards, this week.

The first, is given, sorta by default, because I don't know who to blame for this ignorant shit.

Inflatable, star spangled, assault rifles.  

I kinda hope they came over, from China, already inflated.  

I like to imagine the smell of an impoverished, child laborer's bronchitis making the moment this toy pops, that much more memorable, for the little turd who pointed one at me.

The second yellow card goes straight to the fire department.

I came home to an empty yard waste bin, anticipating that I'd stuff it full of weeds.

Instead, I stuffed it half full of lopped shrub, because the fire department hacked up the yard around the fire hydrant.  

DICKS!!!!

I was out at midnight, last night, stuffing my consenting neighbor's bin full of my yard waste overflow, for today's pickup.  

Something I wouldn't have been able to do if my consenting neighbor wasn't so fucking neighborly.

I understand that the hydrant mustn't be obscured by brush but leaving the branches on the sidewalk, for me to pick up, is not very neighborly, nor is it becoming of civil servants who sit around and lift weights all day.

-Neighbor out.

Off the Trail; TC4

Tent City 4 concluded their 3rd stay at St. Jude's.

Taking these snap shots felt like a huge invasion of privacy. I gave a pal a tour of education hill, and asked him to bring his camera to take some pictures for a project. I sorta just threw him into taking these. He had no idea what I was planning when I walked him to this areal view point.

"Are we going inside the church or something?"

"No, we're just..." I muttered off.

I got quiet and put my head on a swivel.

"Aww, dude!" he whispered. "Are you trying to make me take pics of tent city?"

"It's cool." I said in the most assuring voice. Then I waved him on. It was a dick move but you're looking at them too.

I like having tent city on the block. The bus stop gets pretty busy, and I don't know if anyone else noticed, but there was a guy who could juggle a foot bag like no other. Even from my rear view mirror this guy was impressive.

I'd like to think that there will be less cigarette butts on the trail now... but I'm betting the prick, marb-light smoker is still on the hill.