I get a yellow card for laughing hysterically at a small child when instead I should have said, "Hey Kid, stop struggling, look at the ground, and your head will slide right out of that clown themed, photo stand-in."
Honestly, though, seeing a wooden clown with the face of a crying child made my Derby Days Weekend.
His dad freed him before I could take a picture.
The City of Redmond gets two yellow cards, this week.
The first, is given, sorta by default, because I don't know who to blame for this ignorant shit.
Inflatable, star spangled, assault rifles.
I kinda hope they came over, from China, already inflated.
I like to imagine the smell of an impoverished, child laborer's bronchitis making the moment this toy pops, that much more memorable, for the little turd who pointed one at me.
The second yellow card goes straight to the fire department.
I came home to an empty yard waste bin, anticipating that I'd stuff it full of weeds.
Instead, I stuffed it half full of lopped shrub, because the fire department hacked up the yard around the fire hydrant.
DICKS!!!!
I was out at midnight, last night, stuffing my consenting neighbor's bin full of my yard waste overflow, for today's pickup.
Something I wouldn't have been able to do if my consenting neighbor wasn't so fucking neighborly.
I understand that the hydrant mustn't be obscured by brush but leaving the branches on the sidewalk, for me to pick up, is not very neighborly, nor is it becoming of civil servants who sit around and lift weights all day.
-Neighbor out.
