Trying to Cope

I can't say for sure, but according to my hip, I jogged about 5 miles of sidewalk looking for my roses this morning.

While I jogged, I pictured heart breaking scenarios in the context of "where could they be right now?"

Maybe the fucker who took them was toting them around on a crime spree, to -like- impress them.

Maybe the dirty bastard was using them to freshen up.

Or maybe they'd already been sold into sex slavery.

Having burned through most of the morning, I jumped in the car to cruise the rich neighborhoods.

30 houses in, I got stopped by the Redmond Police.

It's block watch weekend (or some shit) and I heard at a block watch... thing... that Redmond averages 2 burglaries a week.

I wasn't speeding or anything -I was casing houses- but I "had a break light out" (not really) and the officer wanted to pull my card.

I'm cool with that.

Speaking of RPD, is Officer Hovenden ever going to fucking age?

This guy's been on the force for EASILY 15 years and he still looks like he could nail every barista in town.

The officer who pulled me over asked where I was going.

I told him what was up. "Someone uprooted my roses so I'm rolling through the neighborhoods looking for them."

I was anticipating him telling me that I'm not at liberty to reclaim my roses if they're planted in someone else's yard... yet he didn't.

But we both sorta know, now that I've been logged as hungry for street justice, I'll kinda need permission from the thief to liberate my roses or I'll be running the risk of getting pinched for an actual crime (as opposed to stealing my roses from the trail, which was not really a crime).

Even though Redmond Police are really cool across the board, they'd still have to find, arrest, and help prosecute me if they got the call.

So... huff.

I posted fucking signs.

I posted one to get your attention.

And the other one is the pity party.

The Sign reads:

A world absent fences is

A world absent those

who would uproot

blooming roses,

planted for all to love.

(And then there's an arrow pointing everyone to the hole left behind by the shit-tard miscreant who stole the roses.)